she got it

Ellie and I went shopping yesterday afternoon. So far, she doesn't look very much like me. She has her daddy's lips, nose, and probably eyes, but there have been a few things we've noticed that must come from my genes. Her reaction to her daddy's endless kisses, for example, is very similar to mine. She also has the chubbiest (and cutest) baby thighs ever and we definitely can't attribute those to David. We have also shared the same beautiful milk/spit-up/slobber stained look for the past 2 months. I tried to make an effort yesterday before heading to the mall. This included pulling my hair down out of a ponytail and putting on a bra and deodorant. Big deal! I know I didn't look good but I was sure I was presentable. I was wrong.

After browsing around a few stores (and, yes, talking to a few salespeople) I went to try on some clothes. Walked into the dressing room, looked in the mirror and realized that my shirt had giant milk stains in front of both boobs. I shouldn't have been surprised to see the stains; I was wearing the same shirt I wore to bed the night before and pretty much every piece of clothing that's been worn over the past 2 months is stained in one way or another. All I could do at that point was laugh at myself, and use it as more motivation to buy some new clothes that fit my new (current) body.

David and I don't spend much time bothering with our physical appearance. With a few exceptions (ahem, wool clothing) we don't worry too much about the clothes we have or don't have, I don't usually wear make-up, David usually has something colorful in his teeth, and it's a lucky day if I remember to pluck my eyebrows or that one dark hair growing out of my chin (I think I get this from my Nanny!). We love each other despite all of this, including all of this but we'll both admit that we frequently feel ugly, unattractive, or unprepared in different situations. I hope Ellie learns from us that looks aren't everything, but I also hope that she'll be confident and secure enough in herself to feel beautiful and comfortable in every situation she finds herself in--something that her dad and I still struggle with. I want her to know that she is beautiful, just the way she is.