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the calm

I think there are a few moments in every life that will always stand out as being extraordinary. Anyone watching these moments from the outside would think nothing of them, but to be in these moments, there is clarity and passion, and a feeling that in this very instant your whole life is falling into line.

Both of my moments have felt the same. The first was forever ago, shortly after David and I had met. It was in the middle of a swirling snowstorm, in the middle of the night. It was so early in our friendship that we were still so awkward about touching each other; so much so that if our arms brushed up against each other while we were walking, it would feel tingly and exciting. David was leaving my dorm after bringing over a CD he had burned for me and the next day, we’d both leave Denison and go home for a month for the holidays. We had already said goodbye, but it didn’t feel right. I asked David if I could have a hug, and he came back to meet me, and we stood in the middle of the quad with the snowflakes falling around us and we hugged. It felt like the whole world was spinning and still at the same time. In the weeks, months, and eventually years since that moment on the quad, David and I have tumbled through our relationship, and all the ups and downs that have shaped it. We've laughed and we've fought, but through it all, I have to say I never really questioned whether this was how my life should be.

Right before Ellise was born, David and I were alone in the delivery room for a few minutes. We were listening to a song from that CD that David had made for me years earlier. We put our heads together and sat there without saying anything. All the memories of the things that had brought us to that moment came flooding over me. I was overwhelmed with every emotion that I’d ever felt, and at the same time, also felt completely calm. I had a sense that “this is it.” Whatever had happened before and whatever would come in the future were all settled in this moment, of us being together about to start our family, and knowing that everything was exactly as it should be.

It’s not (too much of) an exaggeration to say that every moment following that one has been chaotic. We’re still struggling to find our new life, figure out our new roles as parents, decide what is important to us and how to fit that into our daily adventures. If that doesn’t sound daunting enough, I have to admit that 14 months later we’re still trying to figure out how to keep our floors, dishes, and clothes clean, plan meals, save money, take regular showers, keep our dog from running away and (most importantly?) be nice to each other now that Ellie demands so much of our attention. The pessimist in me wants to say that most days we fail at most of these tasks. More objectively, I can realize that at the end of the day, regardless of whatever happened, we’re still all happiest just because we're together and I hope that’s the only thing that will ever matter.

As we're looking forward to welcoming our second daughter into our crazy world, I'm thinking frequently of these moments that had the power to remind me of what was important in my life; hoping that I can find a way to realize that no matter how out of control every day is going to seem in the next few months, everything is really exactly as it should be. (That's so much easier than trying to actually figure out how we're going to wrangle both of the kids...)

weekly highlights

• going out on a date (sans ellie) for the first time... ever? it was awesome, but still hard not to feel rushed and want to be home with her. we'll just have to keep practicing.
• having the basement this close to being done and done. we got carpet installed and ordered a mattress this week!
• we created our official family band when we bought an instrument set at the toy store. ellie loves it almost as much as david. (today i caught him not handing her the trumpet when she reached out for it)
  
• having a few free hours on saturday (again, sans ellie) to actually clean our house. it's kind of back to the mess today, but it was a great chance to get to all--i mean, some--of the things that we've been putting off since we've been chasing our little walking girl around the house.
• yep, that's right, she is officially walking! over and over again to try to get to alden's food bowl.
  
• hanging out with liz and justin and their cats. ellie looooves cats.
  

for nanny (and anyone else who still checks!)

Things have been a little busy around here. I swear I suggested the name Explorer when I was pregnant and so far, that name would fit her so perfectly!
The past month has been exciting for us. Ellie had her last day of piano lessons at Laura'sWe really lucked out with the "find a random person to watch your baby while you work" thing and it was a sad day for all of us when we knew it was the last time she'd hang with this cool family. On the other hand, Ellie is super happy to be hanging out with her dad who never misses a chance to make her wear a goofy hat.Here are a few of Ellie's favorite new tricks:

Carrying everything and anything with her as she walks. If there's something on the floor and she's nearby, she has to pick it up. She takes after us with our incessant cleanliness.

Cheesing for the camera (and anyone else that looks):

Participating in tupperware drum circles with Chris and Daddy:

Exploring at Gymboree with Finnboy:

And refining her cheerleading skills:

There, all those pics make up for the lack of posts for the last month, right?

traditions in the making

Not sure if it's the time of year, the fact that Ellie is growing faster than the weeds in our grass, or just that we're spending more time at home, but I've been enjoying finding little fun things to make our home-life more exciting!

We started writing some of our favorite daily memories on brightly colored strips of paper and hanging them up in the bathroom. This idea came from a book I read (and loved) when I was pregnant with Ellie: The Happiness Project. The mother in the book realizes how many little amazing things happen everyday, and how quickly we can forget them as we move on with our too busy lives, so she starts writing down the most memorable things at the end of the day. David and I haven't been doing so well with the daily thing, but we write down the super special or fun things, usually involving our beautiful baby girl. A few highlights: "Ellie pooped on the bathroom floor," "Day-O, Shake, Shake, Shake Senora," "10 minute cleaning challenge," and "Impromptu family dinner @ Polaris." Maybe those aren't things we'd forget, but I think it's nice to be reminded of them when we're otherwise not thinking about how fun our life can be.

The other fun thing we're trying to do is a fun countdown to Christmas. While it wasn't executed perfectly this year, it will hopefully become bigger and better and eventually be an anticipated holiday tradition. We made a board with 25 hidden tags on it detailing something we have to do that night. We included a few of our special favorite treats: "coffee night," and "do what you want," as well as some things that we thought would be cool, but wouldn't happen of our own free will: "turn off the TV," and... I guess this will actually be more surprising than it seemed when we made it last week, because I really can't remember what the other tags say!

My favorite one so far? I've had to work a lot this week, including last Sunday afternoon. When I came home, I was greeted with my loves all dressed up for "fancy night."
My heart always skips a beat when David gets dressed up, and seeing him holding E in her tights and ballet slippers was pretty much the most awesome greeting ever.

the great diaper challenge

It took me half an hour to change Ellie's diaper this morning. How, you ask? First, as mentioned before, she can't sit still, so convincing her to lay on her back is a daunting task. I'll let her play with just about anything so I can take care of business. She loses interest in things pretty quickly, but a few past favorites have been her nasal spray, diaper cream, pig-duck toy, and bag of wipes. The current favorite is the clean diaper. Really, I think she's trying to figure out how to open it up and put it on by herself, she's just such a helper. Even with all those tricks, this morning was beyond beyond. I know I stopped and just sat for a few minutes, but I can't remember if I laughed or cried at the absurdity. Girl! You're seven months old! Slow your roll!

I put her down on the carpet (because the changing table is entirely too small and too high). She rolled over to her belly. I pulled her back. Repeated multiple times. Removed clothing and diaper. She rolled over to her belly. She peed on the rug (while singing, of course). I figured I might as well give her some diaper off time to see what she had in mind since the worst had already happened. She wiggled herself right over to Daddy's guitar to play with the strings. I finished wiping, applied dipe cream, then picked her up to reposition her on her back. She squirted out a poop! Luckily, she aimed for the diaper waiting for her, but still! Begin the whole process again. I put the diaper on her while she was squirming on her belly.

We've had lots of fun diaper off times this week. Last night, while she was walking around the house in nothing but her socks before bathtime, she peed on the hallway floor, on me, and again on the bathroom floor. The last shot included a stinky little squirt on the corner of the bathmat. (We needed a new one anyways!) The logic of "she just peed, so we should be good for a while," apparently doesn't apply.

things that are awesome

Alternative Title: sorry i never make time to blog, but let me update you on the awesomeness of our almost seven month old beauty.

• I know you want to ask if she's crawling, everyone does, but no--she's not crawling, she just thinks that she can walk. And she can. With the help of a well-balanced adult's sturdy pointer fingers. She finds them every chance she can. If she can't find a pair of willing fingers, she might try for some nearby furniture or other object, or she might just cry like a little baby. I'm experiencing my first "but mom, why can't I...?"
• She's decided that she wants to nurse sitting up. That's fine for bottles, but makes nursing from me a little more interesting. Plus, her increasing quest for independence makes her think that she can feed herself. (Again, works for the bottles, but makes nursing from me a little more interesting.)
  


• How many times have you seen a toddler running around, playing game after game, bouncing off the walls, and thought: I wish I could bottle that energy. ? Do you think we're in trouble if she's already inspiring those thoughts at this age? I tell you, the girl doesn't stop. We broke down and bought her one of those walk around things (super coops or tot wheels) and I think she'd be happy to stay in it forever. Crashing around our small house, maneuvering her way from the front door to the back door and back again (we think she is looking for more house... this can't be it, can it?), trying to improve her sprints down the hallway track; she's a wild woman. We have a few tricks to get some quiet time including guitar sing-alongs (really, she sings along!), reading her forever favorite book, Peek-a-Zoo, and... I think that's it. Sheesh, even diaper changes are a struggle.


• She's interacting more and more with her environment. This means fun-ness like banging things together, miming on the front window (she's stuck in a box!), and pushing buttons on toys as well as less fun things like trying to pull picture frames off of walls, and trying to figure out how to open drawers. She pretty much wants everything she can see, and especially wants anything that she sees that she's not supposed to have.

• She's got this super-cute, razor-sharp tooth that has inspired all kinds of fun play with drooling, sticking out her tongue, and blowing raspberries. She also squeals, shrieks and maaaaaaas like any great cheerleader, or... farm animal.
  

• She's having a harder and harder time sleeping well through the night. We had adjusted (as much as you can) to waking up every 3 hours to feed her, but now she seems to be waking up earlier and earlier after each feeding. I'm pretty sure she's not hungry, but feeding her is the easiest way to get us all back to snuggly-sleepyland as soon as possible. If she wakes up and refuses to melt back into sleep while we're still awake, she's usually privy to late night parties (activities have included dressing up like a Sugar Baby, walking laps around the coffee table, dancing with the stars, and pooping---and yes, the behaviorist in me knows this is pretty much the worst thing we can do if we want to teach her to sleep... that, and the feeding on demand, sleeping in our bed...eek, don't tell!) We're contemplating (and procrastinating about) sleep-training recommended by our pediatrician, and pretty much every baby book/resource/parent you talk to. We'll let you know if we get the courage to do it, and let you know how it goes. You might be able to guess how it's going by the depth and darkness of the bags under my eyes and the level of non-responsiveness from David.

• So is having a 7 month old all awesome-ness? Absolutely. It is beyond cool to see the new things she's experimenting with everyday and to see a little more of what our future will be like with a growing Ellie C.
  

Sweet dreams!