gratitude, germs, growing teeth

Every day for the past 4 weeks, someone in our babysitter's family has been sick. Fevers, nausea, coughing, oozing eyes. Gross. We kept Ellie home the whole time, and, with the help of grandparents, understanding employers and coworkers, and complete abandon for any normal sense of daily life, we made it work.

The first day home was too much fun. All day I kept thinking, "I'm not sick, Ellie's not sick, but I still can't go to work!" It was so much better than staying home when you actually are sick, and even so much better than staying home when you're pretending you are sick (because those days are filled with worry... that you might (1.) get caught or (2.) get hit by a bad case of karma and find yourself actually sick/with a broken down car/etc.) As day after day passed, I felt more exhausted by the demands piling up at work and the number of favors we had called in. It was an awesome time for Ellie to spend with her grandparents (plus extra time with her super fun parents). Taking her back to Laura's was bittersweet. Ellie was excited to see her (which, OMG, what a relief) and I guess it was nice to be at meetings today without trying to entertain Little Miss Independent who wants to be walking around and eating everything she can't. (shoes? really?)

The newest problem in our little world is that Ellie's teeth have finally decided to make an appearance, leaving us with a slobbering, snotting, and very-fast-to-scream-and-cry-infant. Is it just her teeth or is she getting sick? How are we supposed to figure this out since the little one can't talk? Moms? Not only is she crabby, but I'm crabby, too; with an upset stomach, sore throat, and achy body. Blah.

You might think it's crazy that I'm surprised (again) by how much this little babe has changed my life. The extra care and attention that she needs always takes priority in my mind, but it's a struggle to balance that, while trying to work and maintain the rest of our life. It's so much more of a struggle right now, with all these germs floating around. It's only October. How many more months until spring and good health? Eek. I feel like a bad employee (barely working, very unfocused), an unhealthy person (so much fast food, why do we have a gym membership?), and a shell of the old me. I guess the most important part right now is that I don't feel like a bad mom. Mostly, I think Ellie agrees with me.

participation challenge 1: family traditions

When we were growing up we had a lot of silly traditions. A few that I think of often: Saturday morning chores (complete with personalized task lists by kid), a kid-of-the-week award, being allowed to pick out whatever candy we wanted from the hospital gift-shop after a doctor appointment, "blowing out" the red light on the video camera to turn it off, and our parents singing "who's got the power?!" after we finished watching TV shows and it was time to go to bed. Other traditions related to our birthdays: being able to pick the dinner we wanted and the style of cake that Nanny would make, singing an extra verse on the end of the happy birthday song, and everyone in the family having a tootsie pop (on your real birthday) or a dum-dum lollipop (on your half birthday).

Miss Ellise is a few days shy of the biggest day of her life so far... she's about to celebrate her first half birthday. It has me thinking about what kinds of traditions we should start so when she's out on her own, she can think back fondly of the quirky things that only happened in our family. I can't figure out if these things happen on their own (over time, because it's not like Ellie will remember this one anyways), or if parents decide to plan special things. We've already decided on a few special things that we'll do on all of our birthdays (you'll have to wait til April to hear about those), but I really think celebrating a half-birthday, even with something as small as dum-dum lollipops held up by a wooden bear is super awesome.

So, if you're out there (and I know a few of you are), you can help our family get creative by clicking on the Post a Comment link and explaining some of your favorite childhood traditions. For parents--how did your family traditions start? Did they just sort of happen or did you make a decision to do something silly/special/awesome? In a few days I'll let you know how we marked this spectacular day in baby girl's life.

this is how ellie and i entertained ourselves while waiting for grandpa and daddy to finish their triathlon.

shake it fast!

I've loved dancing for as long as I can remember. I remember when my parents gave me a leotard and tights for Christmas along with my first ever ballet class at the Cleveland School of Dance. Before that, my sister, cousins, friends and I would "choreograph" (read: talk about) dances and shows and perform them on the "stage" (read: bench) in nanny and papa's basement. Thinking back on it now I feel like I was probably always the one that instigated this and dragged others with me. We played "Burnin' Down the House," and "Mousercize" records on their record player and thought we were so freaking cool.

I remember my awesome outfit for the jazz routine in my first recital. There's still a picture of it floating around somewhere. Hot pink. Rainbow Sequins. Silver shoes. Sequin Headband. Hawt.

I remember playing my dad's Cathy Dennis "Move to This" CD over and over again in the living room to practice my moves.

I can still remember so many dances from all my years of classes and cheerleading... to Big Band, Rusted Root, 2 guys banging on pots, pans, and tables (seriously), rainforest sounds, Coolio, U2, REO Speedwagon, the Beastie Boys. Wearing bleach-stained unitards, chevron pants, ballet skirts that my mom sewed for me, anything that my (eccentric) dance teacher could find in bulk at the thrift store.

That was such a big part of my life. I bet my mom and dad can remember a lot of what I'm talking about. I even sucked both of them into dancing at one point or another (mom, just for a class I think; dad, for multiple rehearsals and a public performance!)

Stopping dancing (in high school, when I decided the weekly classes and rehearsals took too much time away from friends and boyfriends) is probably one of the only things I regret in my life. Since I stopped formally dancing, my personal career has continued. Sophomore year of college my roommate and our closest friends choreographed a dance for... ourselves... because... we were bored? and rehearsed for hours a night until the person beneath us complained. In addition to David's and my sometimes nightly dance parties in our living room, I also convinced him to perform a choreographed first dance at our wedding. I convinced a team at work that we should make a video for one of our clients with all of the popular dances commonly done at weddings so that they could practice and participate with their family. Dancing when I was pregnant with Ellie was the thing that made me happiest and made us laugh the most. Really, a pregnant woman dancing is a w e s o m e. In the first few weeks when Ellie was only happy if she was being bounced around, we learned that putting on music and bouncing to the beat makes it so much more tolerable, fun even. You should try it--feeling grumpy? Stuck doing something that you don't want to do? Click this link and shake it fast. You'll feel better.

I hope Ellie loves to dance. I hope she'll ask me to make up shows with her. Maybe she won't want to take classes, but she'll be expected to participate in family dance parties. And hopefully she'll teach me how to dougie.

tummy time in months

As her half birthday approaches, I can't stop myself from looking and thinking back to the beginning. It's unbelievable how much she's changed and how much she's changed my life.

Click on the picture to make it bigger so you can really appreciate her beauty :)

smorgasbord

I didn't forget about this place, but I haven't found the time (or motivation) to hang around here. A few quick updates and a super cute pic of the girl:

• Everyone tells you they grow up so fast, but it's unbelievable to see it happen. It took so long for her to grow and develop during the 40 long weeks of pregnancy, and I didn't realize all the craziness and change that would happen in just the first few months of her life. I can't wait to order invites to her first birthday party. (what up, tiny prints?!)
  
• She's over 5 months old, has her very own high-chair (thanks to a well-planned ebay purchase by dad) and is slightly obsessed with any food that is in her reach. Actually, she's pretty much obsessed with any object that is in or out of her reach and is letting us know by attempting to dive-bomb off our laps in the direction of everything she sees. She's enjoyed avocado and sweet potato meals and thinks both are finger foods.
• She's getting pretty good at sitting up on her own (unless she's practicing her aforementioned dive-bomb technique) and figured out how to roll all the way around which makes her much more mobile than we are ready for. I'm excited for all that is to come, but can't believe our little girl might be thinking about crawling and walking soon?!

• She loves Alden, her feet, when people cough, the remote control, jumping (like crazy!) in her jumperoo, standing up in her walker, napping in our bed, peeing with her diaper off, and clawing the crap out of our faces in the morning.
• David and I are still a little lost and more exhausted/disheveled than I'd like to admit, but I wouldn't change anything. Life is wonderful!
  

my mess

Last night, after Ellie was in bed and I was sitting on the couch enjoying a rootbeer float (they are probably better than you remember) David was marching around the house trying to clean up.

David: "Please don't put your shoes on the kitchen table."
Me: "Why would I put my shoes on the table?"
David: "Exactly, why would you put your shoes on the table?"
Me: ::overcome by uncontrollable laughter::

I've been thinking that I should stray from my usual adorable posts of Ellie pictures to show you a broader view of what our life has become since this beautiful little girl stepped in and took over. Luckily for me I haven't made the time to snap any shots so instead I'll just list a few things that make up our mess.

Me:
Hair=hot mess. It hasn't been cut since... January? I need to order some sort of product that won't congeal on my scalp the morning after a shower. Ellie and I have matching cradle cap.
Sometimes I try to put on mascara. Sometimes it makes me feel better about going to work in the morning. Unfortunately I don't clean it off and it just adds to the bags under my eyes the next day. I look so tired.
My teeth are yellow. Probably has something to do with excessive amounts of Starbucks consumed in the past 4 months.
My lips are so thin. This is only more evident since David and Ellie have luscious lips.
Muscle tone: non-existent.
Clothes: I think I have 2 pairs of non-maternity pants that fit, but they're linen and get too easily wrinkled (when they're balled up on the floor). Sometimes I can find an unwrinkled shirt for work. Sometimes it is even stain free.
I've exercised 3 times since Ellie's been alive.

Kitchen:
Dirty dishes and bottles out the wazoo. Waiting to be loaded into the dishwasher or washed by hand.
A fridge filled with healthy groceries that never get cooked.
Pizza boxes.
Starbucks cups.
Baby toys.
Baby coupons.

Living Room:
Mail.
Bills.
Bras.
Fabric pieces from various half started projects.
A floor that's been swiffered and vacuumed twice since Ellie's been alive. (Ellie is almost 5 months old, and this used to be done on a weekly basis)
Cereal bowls on the floor. (Remnants of Alden's morning treat)
Spoons on any horizontal surface. (For some reason, the spoon is not part of Alden's morning treat and has to be removed so he can get to the cereal bowl..?)
Baby toys.
Baby books.

Bathroom:
Clothes.
Stray hairs. Everywhere. (I've been checking for bald spots since 3 months postpartum)

Ellie's Room:
Old clothes. (Washed and bagged and ready to go... somewhere!)
Baby toys.
I don't even know what's in her completely disorganized closet.

Purple Room:
The rest of the fabric pieces from half finished projects.
Baby toys.

Our Room:
O-M-G. I don't even think I can describe the explosion that occurred on the floor of my side of the room over the last few weeks. My parents might be the only ones that can vouch for how messy I can get. You can't see the floor.

So I started laughing uncontrollably during that conversation last night because in that very instant I realized how completely out of control our life had become. How out of control I had become. I also realized it's all my fault. In an effort to ease my guilt about being away from Ellie during the day and on top of busy busy weeks at work, when I finally get home, I'm completely exhausted with being responsible or self-controlled. The only thing I can find energy for is Miss Ellie (and, yes, making Tiny Prints cards). David, bless his heart, has been trying so hard to keep some sort of cleanliness or healthiness in our lives. He asks me to pick up my clothes, and sometimes even picks them up for me (and then has to deal with me trying to find any of my stuff that he put in the wrong place). He volunteers to run to the grocery or cook any dinner but I'm usually quicker to choose take-out. He pesters me to go to the gym, get a hair cut or go buy new clothes. But when push comes to shove, I'd rather just be with Ellie than doing any of those things. I know I need to get better about this, if only because I want to be a good role model for Ellie and I think it's important for her to know that she should take pride in herself and her belongings. But how do I get there? Suggestions welcome!

swoon!

why can't she wear a tutu everyday?